Our second Life
Suppressing emotions might not always be good
Going through this passage, one must feel that this is a random assortment of ideas. The trouble is, no one can force a personality upon someone. What this passage intends is to bring about a discussion on the same, which is the only way we can help…
OUR SECOND LIFE
“It seems so comfortable to mould ourselves in ways others want us to be, so difficult to remain the way we are all the time...”
True?
Is it? Well, that might serve as a good beginning to today’s question — to be or not to be.
Not very long ago, and perhaps even today, there were talks that went like“…Boys should be sturdy, rough, not seeking a lot of attention, should control their emotions and not exhibit ‘girlishness’. Girls ought to be tender, polite, friendly, respectful…” and so on. It was only in recent decades that researchers and activists put forth their views on how this might hinder the physical growth of women and emotional growth for men.
What about the ‘college’ idea of being cool? For most of us, being cool is to fall to social expectations of one’s peers (and others) easily. And that is the case even when one is reluctant to do so. New freshmen faces glow with their uniqueness but often that is lost in the process aforementioned. Have you noticed this too — maybe somewhere in yourself or in a friend of yours?
In our daily life, we are taught that it is not good to be sad. Being happy is important, being cool is important, not being angry is important, not being jealous, being sweet, not speaking up — lord alone knows how many social bondages are there on the mere concept of expression alone.
Research says it's not good
Research suggests that it might not be a good idea to suppress emotions in the long run. It results in anxiety, fear and broken relationships, surveys show. The researchers often call this the ‘social cost’ of emotion suppression. This might lead to isolation and more often than not, depression.
On the contrary, letting out our emotions can help in relaxation, establishing closure, improving relationships and fostering bonds.
For people with wounds from the past, denial might work as a way of self-protection or coping — research says. However, this might hinder their growth and maybe block emotions. Their intention is often to let go of that negative emotion, but they do not let go, it stays with them, only hidden and might be triggered more often than not.
The ‘human’ Trouble
The trouble is once you show yourself to be someone else, it becomes more difficult for you to exhibit your true self to those people. You are yet again, bound to a new set of expectations that end up only with a dilution of those relations or on the formation of new ones.
It’s You at the End
Being yourself makes it easier for you to look at your life the way you want it, your interests, your career choices, your circles and that makes it easier for you to be happy because the universe seems to be in tune to your understanding of it.
“Of all the expressions that have in you lived,
which do you think is most important?
A face, another or the third…?
You live in fear, but they are all you,
In every emotion, it’s you who has lived
In every expression, it’s you who has thrived…” — Editorial Team, SOS
SOS is an organisation committed to the creation of spaces where one can speak up, be himself/herself/themself. But clearly, it is not sufficient. Everyone should be committed to that idea and that is when we might say, we achieved the freedom Tagore speaks of in “Where the mind is without fear…”
SOS is a student community at VIT, Vellore and can be connected through Facebook, Instagram or LinkedIn.
